When I first started studying the Course, I was so grateful that I had finally found the Answer to ALL of my questions. I was flailing about most of my life trying to make things work in this world, but knew there must be a better way. My heart was calling to God through all of the chaos and was certainly answered by Jesus’ words in the Course. I felt at Home and was so eager to grasp the concepts that were “new” to me but yet were so familiar on a deep level.
What stood out to me at first was, “If you want to be like me I will help you, knowing that we are alike. If you want to be different, I will wait until you change your mind.” (T-8, IV, 6) This statement by Jesus transformed the way I looked at things from that point on. If, looking at form, I would want to be like anyone, Jesus would be it for me. And here he was telling me that I could be like him because we are alike. My answer to that was a resounding Yessssss!!!! I absolutely want to be like you, Jesus! And I welcome your help in doing so. In the second sentence, he’s pretty clear that it’s the only choice anyway so why not? That part makes me laugh.
Every morning while I was getting ready for work, I would talk to Jesus. I would ask him what he meant about specific passages in the book. As I drove into work, I would listen to the text on my ACIM CDs and ask him about it too. I just wanted to understand it all so I couldbe like him. The answers to my questions always came…sometimes instantly and other times days or weeks later. I was ok with that. They would usually come through as I was reading the Course and I would have “AHA” moments and feel such gratitude in my heart that my learning was deepening.
The more I read, the more I saw how Jesus tells us over and over again in the Course that he is there for us. Here are just a few of the many examples that spoke to me:
“When I said ‘I am with you always’, I meant it literally.” (T-7, III, 1)
“If it helps you, think of me holding your hand and leading you. And I assure you this will be no idle fantasy.” (W-70, 9)
“If you are willing to renounce the role of guardian of your thought system and open it to me, I will correct it very gently and lead you back to God.” (T-4, I, 4)
“I can be entrusted with your body and your ego only because this enables you not to be concerned with them and lets me teach you their unimportance.” (T-4, I, 13)
“I can tell you what to do, but you must collaborate by believing that I know what you should do.” (T-8, IV, 4)
“Alone we can do nothing, but together our minds fuse into something whose power is far beyond the power of its separate parts.” (T-8,V, 1)
“Reach, therefore, for my hand because you want to transcend the ego. My strength will never be wanting, and if you choose to share it you will do so. I give it willingly and gladly, because I need you as much as you need me.” (T-8, V, 6)
As Jesus said these types of things, I was like, “Ok, Jesus, I am open to you. I love you and I’m willing to let you show me the way.” I had no hesitation in this. There was no fear at all, only excitement that he’s there for me. So what happened next was so beautiful.
One Saturday morning when I was sitting in meditation after reading and journaling for a few hours, I saw my arm gently rise up in the air in my mind’s eye. An arm with a white sleeve came down and pulled me up. I didn’t know where I was going, but I was game for anything when it came to the Course. When I arrived, I was surprised to see that I was in a very dark attic where I couldn’t see a thing except the light of an oil lamp that seemed to be in the center. I found myself sitting on the floor of the attic with the oil lamp in front of me and there was Jesus sitting across from me with his face glowing in the soft light. I looked deeply into his eyes and instantly felt at peace. He looked just like a picture that my mom had hanging on the wall in my childhood home.
I was so at peace in his presence and felt such gratitude for him in that moment. There was a feeling of love that was everywhere. We sat in silence across from each other and I just allowed the feeling of love and peace to fill me. I then said to him, “You really mean what you say, don’t you?” and we laughed together.
We started talking and I brought up questions I had about what I was perceiving as “my life” and how to apply ACIM principles to it. He patiently and gently answered every question I had during our conversation. Most of them were about work and my son and how to apply his teaching to specific situations. He answered me in so many different ways…sometimes, he would play a video in my mind to show me, sometimes he would use words and other times I would just feel the answer.
I just remember thinking, “Wow…this is amazing! I am so grateful to have access to Jesus in this way!” He tells us in the Course over and over again that he is there and all we have to do is ask for his help, but I didn’t realize he would create a space to present himself to me in a way that I understood him at that time.
Once he had addressed all of my questions, he directed me to Chapter 12 of the Text to read when we were finished. I opened my eyes, turned my book to the section and read it.
“A little while and you will see me, for I am not hidden because youare hiding. I will awaken you as surely as I awakened myself, for I awoke for you. In my resurrection is your release. Our mission is to escape from crucifixion, not from redemption. Trust in my help, for I did not walk alone, and I will walk with you as our Father walked with me. Do you not know that I walked with Him in peace? And does not that mean that peace goes with uson the journey?” (T-12, II, 7)
He asked me to write about my experiences with him in the attic and share them with you. He wants you to know that he is available to anyone at anytime. Just go within and ask with an open mind, with no expectations or judgments, with all of the willingness you can muster up, and he will answer you in the way that suits you best. Trust in that. I’m here to tell you that this is 100% true. I am proof that he will answer. I am not special because he speaks to me. He speaks to everyone all of the time. I am just choosing to listen. And you can too.
Love & Gratitude,
So beautiful. I love all the quotes put together in this way too. Thank you for sharing and inspiring.
Much love & blessings of gratitude to you, Tanya! Thank you!
I know this is 100% true! Jesus is always available for all of us. I have experienced it! So grateful!! Thank you for your beautiful message!💖💖💖
I join you in gratitude, dear Leezah! Thank you for sharing this! Blessings!!
Thanks for posting Shannon..
….the part that stood out the most was “and he will answer you in a way that suits you best”
Love it, Annie! Yes! He always knows what is perfect for us.